Reawakening

“I’m not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” 

― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Hello there again!

It has been awhile. It seems to me that the period between March and June we have a bit of Spring Fever and staying inside is very hard to do, even with the limited possibilities, there is still so much going on. This period of time also brings ALL the birthdays (ok almost all). Then there is Easter, which is as big a deal in our house as Christmas! Of course Mother’s Day and Father’s Day take a lot of planning too – I am training my Munchkins into proper planners for these events so that perhaps one day they can take over… one can dream right? Hehehe!

We also threw in a bout of unexplained sickness, isolation, covid tests (does anyone else have to restrain their children to have a nose or throat swab? Anyway, it was negative – it was the fever that stumped me) and then homeschooling for the two weeks in May (right after our isolation was suppose to end!) into the mix as well, just because we didn’t have enough to do. However, we did it, just like every other time there’s been a lot going on. It was like having a huge project to manage, with all the little hiccups along the way and people in the background adding in more bits and then going off on a tangent and taking you for the ride. Then you realise that it wasn’t actually serving any purpose and with a lot of effort you steer it back round to where you are supposed to be headed – SUMMER!

Summer is always the end goal and Spring is just the beginning – a preview of what is come. I love emerging from Winter and seeing life awaken from the frozen lands. If you have read my posts from before you will know that very cold winters are not something I’ve grown up with (even English winters were generally warmer, if a teeny bit wet!), so it is always exciting to see the transition from one season to another. My son was born in the spring too and so he is just as excited as I am to see more of the sun and warmer weather. My daughter was born in the Autumn, so she loves the Winter and doesn’t enjoy the very hot weather, although doesn’t complain much about being able to have more opportunities for park days and picnic days. I am enjoying watching them become more independent and seeing what their opinions and preferences are, as I learn with them to guide them with an open heart.

These few months I’ve been continuing to work on my emotional development, controlling my stress levels and organising our space, through out all the planning and preparation of different events (we have my son’s birthday, Easter and their Dad’s in quick succession). I tried to make an extra effort for my son’s birthday as it was his second Covid birthday. We invited his whole class to a space themed virtual birthday party, which worked very well. I made party packs and sent them to school with the link for everyone to join onto and then streamed all the kids favourite dance videos. We also made “edible rockets” with cookies and chocolates with snacks I sent in and space themed puppets. In effect it was just like an in person party, but without all the mess afterwards! Although, because I had been concentrating on getting the party organised, the place was just as messy! Doh! Anyway, it was another feather to my cap and I was able to learn more skills for online conferencing and practice my design and creative skills. My son and his classmates were happy to have an event to attend as well, a win all round.

“I wonder what Piglet is doing,” thought Pooh. 

“I wish I were there to be doing it, too.” 

― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

For my daughter, my mum has been reading stories virtually at bedtime, while I settle my son. It has been a great bonding session with her Grandmother, that we wouldn’t otherwise be able to do and I am grateful for the space and one on one time with my son. They recently read the entire works of A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh, which I was read to when I was the same age – a lovely tradition to pass onto another avid fan. I would hear the end of the story and I started to think about how each of the characters were a bit like the personalities or parts of a person. I know I have days where I feel like Eeyore “no better from this side, no better on that….” or forgetful days, like Winnie the Pooh – I know I have an “important thing to do today” but what? (I also love food and eating!). There have been a lot of times I’ve had do “a very brave thing” like Piglet. I am also a loyal friend and want to give support but also like to have the support too. I do tend to go off on a tangent and read a lot of books like Owl. Most of all though, I LOVE a PLAN! I am happiest if I am organized, just like Rabbit. And just like Rabbit, I get stressed out when the plan isn’t properly executed, or when Tigger bounces all over it! Then I have to channel my inner Kanga and calmly say (after taking 365 deep breaths), “Now then dear, just one more jump…”. Christopher Robin keeps them all together and mutters “silly ol’ bear” and gives clarity to the situation and everyone feels much better.

Then there is a Tigger… I was definitely a Tigger in my younger days, and there are times when my mind bounces around with too many thoughts and too many ideas. I believe my son to be a Tigger too, he has that same bounce both inwards and outwards, which is fun to be around as he’s always happy to be going on an adventure. However, it is also good for him to stop and have some downtime. My daughter’s favourite character is Pooh Bear, and I would have to say she does get fixated on one thing from time time, like Pooh being fixated on finding honey (she also loves honey!). She loves her friends and family and is happiest when surrounded by them. I have noticed a definite shift in behaviour, becoming more like Eeyore when we were isolated or doing homeschooling.

Studying this behaviour in us, has been fascinating and I look forward to continuing to watch us grow in awareness and mindfulness. Since conciously seeing our growth and stopping to take note, as I have been writing about previously, I am excited for this new chapter in our lives. I have a lot of experience behind me now, I’m not that 20 something year old, who yes, went bravely, but really had no clue. My munchkins are not babies anymore, they are big kids. We can have so much more fun now and so much more freedom. Our understanding is so much greater than it was. I can set proper healthy boundaries and have more space for my self, whilst modelling how to develop respectful relationships with people. I will most probably continue to be a square peg in a round hole as I have been all my life, but I love my family dearly and like Christopher Robin, I will be there to hold it all together and clarify why it has to be so, even if I don’t really understand it or agree with it myself. Already I can see a change now that summer has come, it is warm outside (sometimes a bit too warm! Thank goodness for A/C) and more importantly we can see people IN PERSON. “The fog has lifted” and we can “set it all free” (We also love Disney’s Tangled and Illumination’s Sing ). So here’s to great summer and beyond. Virtual visits and hangouts have their place in time, but interacting with people either outside our inside and having adventures, whether at home or abroad is really what life is all about. Let’s keep it that way as we continue our journey! We may get lost on the way, however that only adds more flavour to our quest. Like in Winnie the Pooh story about when they all go to discover the North Pole – “When you see someone putting on his Big Boots, you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.” ― A.A. Milne. There will always be more discoveries to be made!

Here’s what I was reading and watching when I was needing my downtime:

Your Time to Thrive by Marina Khidekel and the Editors of Thrive Global

There was a Black Hole that swallowed the Universe by Chris Ferrie – bought for my son’s space party but much loved now and has been read many times.

Sticking with the space theme I have been watching Third Rock from the Sun which is a funny take on human life. Even if it is fairly dated, I like to see how far we have come… or not as sometimes the case may be. Hehe!

We actually went to the cinema with a friend, which I was very anxious about doing, but turned out to be ok in the end. We watched Boss Baby 2, which I was also sceptical about having seen some of Boss Baby. However, it was better than I expected it to be. The experience was good, since we would like to see Sing 2 as well.

My Life app has released a new Self Criticism journey, perfect for all those little thoughts that come up when I think I’ve not done enough or am not enough.

I wonder what’s next?

Until then as always,

Keep safe, healthy and joyful,

Ax