Letting it Go, Letting it Be and Getting Organised

“Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember…I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter… After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things — terrible, yes, but great.”

– Ollivander (Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone) 

Hello December! It’s nearly the end of the year and WHAT a year it has been! When I cast my mind back to all that has gone on in our lives these past months, it has really been “terrible, yes, but great”. For us, I am grateful we have manage to get through it (knocks on wood repeatedly). I know there is still lots more to come, its not over yet (the Fat Lady has not sung her last song! Ha! Ha!). 

This past month saw us doing lots of organising and sorting and tiding away. It is Christmas after all and when the tree comes out everything has to be rearranged. The fact that when we downsized from our 3 bed Townhouse with 1400sqft basement to our 2 bed apartment with no basement at all has made us think about what we really need and how to store it. Previously we would chuck everything into the basement and never think about it. It was only when I had to go through it all did I realise just how much we had held on to. And even though I single handily went through it all, I still brought things over that could been thrown away. When we moved during the Spring I shoved the boxes of decorations in my closet space to deal with later… November came and I looked at the tower of boxes stacked, took a deep breath and dove in. Many storage boxes later (I got quite excited buying them! I am easily pleased!) it looks better and I got rid of more stuff I was holding onto but wasn’t sure why. The biggest thing I let go, which I had been holding on to for 20 years or so, was the carefully compiled folders of Montessori handbooks that I had completed during my year of study. They have been with me through every single move I’ve made carefully packed into a storage crate. I let go not doing any teaching years ago after a particularly soul destroying experience working at a nursery in London. It was then I decided that maybe I wasn’t quite the right fit and that the study was more appealing than the field work. But I held onto the files, I guess I was still on the fence a bit, holding onto that part of my past. It did feel sad and I do still feel sad thinking about it again. I was that child who played “cuddly toy school”. I had worksheets for them and set them homework. I enjoyed helping out with younger kids and would babysit. However, when it came to it, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would, and while I stared at the box of files, I thought to myself, “I really could use this box to store my kids school work and artwork. What do I need these files for?” I have done them, I got good marks, I have the Diploma and I’m not interested in that kind of work anymore. I am really not. So before I started to talk myself into keeping them… again, I quickly took them to the recycling bin and didn’t look back! 

Letting it Go…

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” 

― Steve Maraboli

Letting go can be one of the hardest things to do, I understand this completely, we hold onto so much in our lives. Especially when you think you are bound for one destiny – sorry this word always makes me think of the Emperor in Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back. Hehehe…. anyway – and then you discover there is another path to take. I gave up the idea of teaching, but landed a job doing layout design for a Construction company’s documentation (while doing another Diploma for Art and Design). The company went under and I entered the world of Data Analysis and Statistical Reconfiguration (no, I didn’t meet Chandler Bing!) in order to pay the bills. Surprisingly though, I enjoyed both job roles and met lots of nice and interesting people along the way. I also had to work with very difficult people too. As I reflect on all that has happened, I’m actually glad it happened the way it did, yes, a “career” would’ve been nice to have, but then I don’t think I would have gone on half the adventures I have already done. I may have given up a teaching career in the classrooms, but I have been able to have a wealth of learning and guiding myself and my munchkins through their early years and its only going to get better. They are becoming more engaging, more interested and more resilient (that means less tantrums for me! Yay!). If the Doc comes by in his Delorian and offers to take me back, I will send a note to tell myself that’s going to be all good. You will have to learn to let go of many ideals, relationships (some will be easy, some will be the hardest to say goodbye to) and material possessions, but while you do, your life will only get better so keep going forward and don’t look back. Although, I think there might be a block on the Year 2020 for time travellers! 

Letting it Be… (be the Queen Bee)

In the case of letting go, I can truly understand that perhaps one might feel they are loosing control or that it might be deemed that it isn’t important. They might start to harbour resentment or irritation over it. Our possessions, beliefs, emotional attachments, values are all part of our lives and to some extent who we are too. We build stories behind them and the stories become more and more important. My Daughter loves the stories, she loves to know when exactly in blow by blow account how an item came to be, it’s a way of organising her brain so she can feel safe. Safety, plays a big part in our family after going through so much emotional trauma in our recent years. We have never watched to the end of “Finding Nemo”, to give you a clue. However, as hard as it is to let something or someone go, it opens up the space for something new (like space for a future generation of artwork!). And after you have let go, you can let it be… just as it is… play-the-hand-you-got-and-go-with-it kind of way. People and things come and go, nothing is truly permanent, situations change, people change. If 2020 has anything to teach us at all, it is that to be truly resilient, we need to practice letting it go and letting it be. And by that I mean, finding peace with our situation and going with it. I believe life will better for the patience and serenity we have shown it. 

This was a difficult one for me to write, so I’ll leave it there, breathe and rest…

(Also my Son keeps coming in and out since he’s having a hard time letting it go and letting it be… which has given him the hiccups.) He thinks it’s funny. I guess the best thing to do is to smile!

Stay safe, healthy and joyful

Ax